BananaMonkey.com

A typical Amber and Justin conversation:

Amber: Can I have/get/change this?
Justin: That sounds expensive.
Amber: Unless it’s free.
Justin: True…..

Title quoted from Ralph W. Emerson

Today has been full of questions.  I have often been told that I ask too many questions.  In situations where I shouldn’t be asking them, e.g. movie theaters, sermons (some may argue this one) and meetings where I am taking minutes, I always want to raise my hand at some point during the event.  And today has been no exception, except I am at least asking them at appropriate days.

It is only noon, and I have already asked more than can be answered.

To my boss:  Can I please have another project?
As a result, to colleagues: Can you please get me this answer?

To my coworker: Can you please explain these things to me?

To my professor: Can you please explain the proper way to cite these sources?

To my husband: Is typing without looking at the keys more like learning a language or learning to drive a car?

To myself: Did you enjoy the spaghetti?  Are you going to the gym after work?  How are you ever going to finish your assignments?

Life is just full of questions, and I know that they will never stop.

The great thing about this is that I am totally alright with that!  I knew who I was!

Quote by Voltaire

An amazing thing has happened while I have been trying to find something to fill my cravings – I have stopped craving!  I honestly did not think that I would stop wanting chips and popcorn when I am hungry or in the mood to eat.  Which is dumb, because I want to want it!  Now at night, I eat crap less.  I sometimes still do eat something but not because I am hungry, but because I just think that I should be eating.  The great thing about this is that I have started to recognize the difference between being hungry and just wanted to eat something.  I have never been able to do this before.  I am also choosing and wanting to eat healthier options.  Don’t get me wrong, I am still eating crap way too often, but not as often as before.

While this great thing for me has happened because of giving things up for Lent, it has not caused me to focus on God as much as I wanted it to.  God does asks us “Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own.”  I feel that when I make wise decisions about how I treat my body, when I eat right and exercise, I am treating the body that God lent me with respect and that I am recognizing Him in my life.

The goal now for the rest of Lent for me is not only to continue doing what I have been doing along with exercising, but to also recognize exactly why I am making these choices.  When I prepare my breakfast/lunch/dinner in the morning, I want to think about the fact that God grew those strawberries and cucumbers for me to eat, He used His people to plant the ingredients that make the hummus and wheat bread, He gave me the animals that were sacrificed for my turkey and salami, and He gave me my beautiful hands to put it all together into a meal.  When I drive to work I will thank Him for the incredible sunrise/rain/snow that I am driving through.  When I am working I will appreciate every moment because so many are not working.  When I am walking on the treadmill, instead of complaining I will praise THE LORD that I have legs that move when my brain tells them to.  When I lay my head down at night I will realize how blessed I am for the wonderful man laying next to me and for the perfect cat purring on my pillow.

And at this moment, in the class that I should be paying attention in, while I am typing on my Mac, I am in awe of His creations, His blessings, and the amazing days that He gives to me.

Quote by Arthur Koestler

This weekend was definitely a challenging one for a couple of reasons.  First, a bag of chips kept falling off the top of the fridge saying, “Eat me eat me!”  I didn’t.  Second, my aunt made the best dip ever and the chips were sitting next to it saying, “I am way better than the celery option!”  I ate the celery.  I am actually fairly proud of myself for being so strong but I know that it wasn’t just me keeping me strong.  I had a lot of help from the big guy upstairs.

I am feeling almost 100% healthy this week, but I am starting it off tired.  It will again be a full week and weekend, so I am hoping to get some quality me time as well and me-and-Justin time, but that doesn’t always work out.

Church Council is tonight.  I really enjoy it, but there are always some challenging moments.  When we talk a lot about money and policy it is hard for me to remember that we are doing God’s work and His will is always done.  I cannot forget that first I need to pray and then I can make wise decisions.

As far as the Oscars last night, I was surprised by some of the winners and came away with many more movies that I should watch.  Before last night, I had no desire to watch Precious, but I might want to, and I definitely want to see The Blind Side.  I may watch The Hurt Locker, but it is not a top priority.  I loved Sandra Bullock’s speech and Jeff Bridges’.

Along with trying to eat healthier, I am going to dedicate time in my days this week to exercise.  I haven’t stayed consistent enough doing so, and I know that when I do, I feel so much more alive.

It’s all in God’s hands.

Quote by A.H. Weiler

I have been horrible at updating my site, but awesome at resisting my temptations during Lent!  It is true that I have sometimes found other things to eat when I feel a craving for chips or popcorn, but I am trying to eat a small portion of something or just eat nothing at all.  It is continually a struggle, especially when Justin makes popcorn and I smell it!  I am surprised at how quickly it is going though.  I still have the long part ahead of me, just under a month left now.

I am looking forward to this weekend, and am very glad that it is Friday.  I have a wedding shower to go to tomorrow.  I loved my showers, but I am glad that I do not have to partake in them anymore!  I love receiving gifts, but do not love that everyone watches and that I have to make sure and socialize with everyone.  Tomorrow I will be able to enjoy the party in a different way.  On Sunday I have an Oscar Party to go to that I am looking forward to.  Then back to work on Monday!

Justin and I have planned our summer vacation that we are taking in July.  We are taking a road trip to South Dakota and back through North Dakota.  I never enjoyed road trips when I was younger, but Justin and I do really well on them.  I am looking so forward to this time spent with him, alone!

At church we are in the middle of a series called Along the Way.  It has been a great series to be in during Lent.  While not every message in the series relates to me yet, or maybe just does not reach out to me right now, it has helped me remember that life is a journey, the path to God is a journey, and with every step I take I am making a choice: follow God today or not.  I hope that I always choose to follow Him, but I am glad to know that if I take the wrong step, I can ask for His forgiveness and do better the next time.

Quote by Benjamin Franklin

I am pretty sure that God is teach me some things these last few days.  One is patience and the other is to start talking to Him more.  He is doing so in the most annoying way.  God is saying, “HEY AMBER!  TALK TO ME!” by slowing down every single car that is driving in front of me to no more that the speed limit, and often incredibly less.  He knows how much I hate that, and how much it makes me want to rear end them with my beautiful Jeep.  He also knows that I will not.  Instead, I will say, “FINE GOD!  I AM HERE! Please make these cars go faster!  No? You won’t?  Fine, I will talk to you anyways.”

I do not talk with God as much as I should.  As much as I do not like this, I go through phases.  For weeks (or sometimes like two days in a row) I will talk to Him on my way to work or in the shower or someplace that I am a lot.  I tell Him what I want in life, how it isn’t happening in MY time.  I thank Him for the amazing sunset that I am driving into or the husband who loves me so much.  But then life gets busy and I forget again.

Justin keeps teasing me about my Lenten changes.  He talks about eating popcorn and making nachos.  He says that I shouldn’t act like I am Catholic if I’m not.  This is all in good fun and it really doesn’t bother me.

It doesn’t bother me because I have talked with my God at least 12 times in the last couple of days.

*Quote by Evan Esar.

For many people, Lent is a time to give something up.  Three of the reasons we do this is to 1) practice self-control, 2) to identify with Jesus’ suffering, and 3) to reflect on our wrongdoings.

Now typically, I do not give up something for Lent.  I play the “I’m not Catholic so I don’t have to” card.  While completely valid, this year I found making an excuse to escape a little lesson in self control to be ridiculous.  I decided to give up a couple of items that I love more than breathing: chips and popcorn.  Now you may say, “love more than breathing? You are nuts” and I would say “Yes I am.”  Eating Doritos wouldn’t be so bad if I ate a small amount during the day, but I tend to eat half the bag late at night.  I am what you might call an emotional eater.  Often I am not even hungry nor will eating those chips fill any sadness that I may be feeling at that moment.  Nonetheless, it is what I do.  Giving chips and popcorn up for me will mean quite a lot to me and my faith walk.  Instead of eating the chips, I will remember why I am not.  I will remember that I able to be sitting there not eating Spicy Nacho Doritos because Jesus Christ suffered on a cross for me.  While at some of my weakest moments I may think that I am suffering just as much as He did, I will know that I am not.  I will think about my day and about the moments I denied Him, about the times where I swore, or did not respect myself, or ignored His beautiful sun because the snow piles are still taller than me.  I will not each chips or popcorn because I am taking those moments in my day to savor His creations.

Along with giving something up at Lent, many people try to take something up during this time.  Some reasons for doing this include 1) to address personal habits they do not like, 2) to introduce acts of service or outreach, and 3) to simply make more time for God.

While I am eating no chips or popcorn, I will be adding something to my life – this here blog!  I go through phases of my life where i blog a lot, blog a little, or can barely remember the name of my blog.  Despite that, I love to blog and I want to keep track of what is going on in my life.  Especially right now as grad school is just beginning and marriage is becoming more and more exciting.  While blogging will help me remember what I did on this day at this time in my life, I am hoping that it will remind me to reflect on the blessings I have received on this day at this time in my life.  God is everywhere.  He is in everything.  Every choice I make and every action I take needs to be focused on Him.

This all being said, I am sure there are many of you that are giving up or adding something for Lent.  I wish you all the best of luck and please remember who we are doing this for.