BananaMonkey.com

Sometimes I think that I walk wrong.  When I am walking for exercise, I don’t get shin splints and I don’t get sore muscles too often, but the outsides of my ankles hurt.  I do not know why that is, but I am convinced that all of my life, I have been doing something so normal the wrong way.

Justin made microwave popcorn the other night.  It killed me, and I in turn wanted to kill him.  Now, I would never do that of course.  It is just popcorn.  But I am obviously still craving that which I cannot have.  I think that is somewhat a good thing.  If I wasn’t longing for it, it wouldn’t be a sacrifice.  For example, when I was younger and Lent came around, I would try to give up things that I rarely encountered or that I didn’t like anyways.  I would give up meatloaf and homework.  Of course I want to not eat meatloaf and not do homework!  That was not a sacrifice for God.  And I was bound to fail – I had to do my homework!

I have worked out everyday this week so far, both indoors and out.  This is the first time in a very long time that I have worked out four days in a row, and I am hoping to continue.  Thankfully, God has blessed us with a few beautiful days to be outside.  Today is a not so beautiful day, but that just means wear warmer clothes outside!

My Lent goals have been transforming since the beginning.  I started out by giving up two food items that I LOVE!  Then I wanted to start trying to eat healthier meal options, and then add in exercise.  So far I have been doing awesome at it.  My biggest problem though, is convincing myself that I do not have to have a snack after dinner.  It is a very bad habit that I have long held, and will be a difficult one to break.  I don’t imagine that I will do so by April 4th, but I am hoping to do so more and more.

Here’s to a continued journey!

Quote by Franklin D. Roosevelt

An amazing thing has happened while I have been trying to find something to fill my cravings – I have stopped craving!  I honestly did not think that I would stop wanting chips and popcorn when I am hungry or in the mood to eat.  Which is dumb, because I want to want it!  Now at night, I eat crap less.  I sometimes still do eat something but not because I am hungry, but because I just think that I should be eating.  The great thing about this is that I have started to recognize the difference between being hungry and just wanted to eat something.  I have never been able to do this before.  I am also choosing and wanting to eat healthier options.  Don’t get me wrong, I am still eating crap way too often, but not as often as before.

While this great thing for me has happened because of giving things up for Lent, it has not caused me to focus on God as much as I wanted it to.  God does asks us “Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own.”  I feel that when I make wise decisions about how I treat my body, when I eat right and exercise, I am treating the body that God lent me with respect and that I am recognizing Him in my life.

The goal now for the rest of Lent for me is not only to continue doing what I have been doing along with exercising, but to also recognize exactly why I am making these choices.  When I prepare my breakfast/lunch/dinner in the morning, I want to think about the fact that God grew those strawberries and cucumbers for me to eat, He used His people to plant the ingredients that make the hummus and wheat bread, He gave me the animals that were sacrificed for my turkey and salami, and He gave me my beautiful hands to put it all together into a meal.  When I drive to work I will thank Him for the incredible sunrise/rain/snow that I am driving through.  When I am working I will appreciate every moment because so many are not working.  When I am walking on the treadmill, instead of complaining I will praise THE LORD that I have legs that move when my brain tells them to.  When I lay my head down at night I will realize how blessed I am for the wonderful man laying next to me and for the perfect cat purring on my pillow.

And at this moment, in the class that I should be paying attention in, while I am typing on my Mac, I am in awe of His creations, His blessings, and the amazing days that He gives to me.

Quote by Arthur Koestler

This weekend was definitely a challenging one for a couple of reasons.  First, a bag of chips kept falling off the top of the fridge saying, “Eat me eat me!”  I didn’t.  Second, my aunt made the best dip ever and the chips were sitting next to it saying, “I am way better than the celery option!”  I ate the celery.  I am actually fairly proud of myself for being so strong but I know that it wasn’t just me keeping me strong.  I had a lot of help from the big guy upstairs.

I am feeling almost 100% healthy this week, but I am starting it off tired.  It will again be a full week and weekend, so I am hoping to get some quality me time as well and me-and-Justin time, but that doesn’t always work out.

Church Council is tonight.  I really enjoy it, but there are always some challenging moments.  When we talk a lot about money and policy it is hard for me to remember that we are doing God’s work and His will is always done.  I cannot forget that first I need to pray and then I can make wise decisions.

As far as the Oscars last night, I was surprised by some of the winners and came away with many more movies that I should watch.  Before last night, I had no desire to watch Precious, but I might want to, and I definitely want to see The Blind Side.  I may watch The Hurt Locker, but it is not a top priority.  I loved Sandra Bullock’s speech and Jeff Bridges’.

Along with trying to eat healthier, I am going to dedicate time in my days this week to exercise.  I haven’t stayed consistent enough doing so, and I know that when I do, I feel so much more alive.

It’s all in God’s hands.

Quote by A.H. Weiler

As I understand it, if you are Catholic and practicing Lent, on Sundays you get a break from your sacrifice.  I have decided that I am not going to do it this way.  On Sundays, Thursdays, Tuesdays and every other day, I am going to continue my devotion to avoiding my vices.  The way I see it, Jesus, hanging on the cross, did not say, “Ok this sucks.  Let me take 10 minutes and then I will come back up here.” If He didn’t get a break, either do I.

It is amazing to go through this Lenten journey alongside other people.  An important woman in my life told me today about what she is adding for Lent.  It was incredible to see her devotion.  No matter how religious you are, adding something to your life or taking something away for 40 days and nights is a great act of self control.  My hope is that it will become a habit.  If you do something for 21 days in a row, it is supposed to become something that you do all of the time, or if you quit something for 21 days in a row you are supposed to get rid of that habit.  While I am positive that on April 5th I will enjoy a popcorn breakfast, a Dorito lunch and nachos for dinner, I am hoping I do use food to handle emotions as much anymore.

I am excited to hopefully have a productive week.  I often get a case of the Mondays very quickly that lasts until the middle of Thursday.  This week is going to be different though.  This week I am focusing on God more than I have in awhile.  I am going to see Him in every aspect of my life and thank Him for His part in it.

*Quote by John F. Kennedy

It is easy to replace those things that are given up for Lent.  I gave up chips and popcorn, but have quickly realized that many other things can fill the hole I feel.  For example, crackers with melted cheese on them, blizzards, cheetos and chex mix all taste almost as good.  Eating these things is not in the spirit of Lent, in fact, it is the exact opposite.

In Exodus 20:23 we are told “Do not make any gods to be alongside me; do not make for yourselves gods of silver or gods of gold.”  Gods of silver OR gold.  When God commands us to not make gold gods, we try them in silver.  By eating too much when I feel bad, no matter what it is, I am replacing God with an idol.  I am telling him, “thanks anyways for sitting right beside me and holding my hand, but this snack will make me feel better than you ever can.”  How can I continually say that to my God?  Because I am human.  Full of sin and selfishness.

While today I ate too much, tomorrow I get another chance.  I have still kept my promise to God about not eating certain foods, but I have not kept that promise as well as I should have.  I will go to bed tonight praising Him for the fact that I have the option to eat too much and asking His forgiveness for letting Him down.

Tomorrow I will wake up, praise Him, and fulfill my promise better than I did today.  And as that sinful, frail, disobedient human, I will let Him walk along beside me while I do.

I love the Constitution.  It represents such an amazing part of our history.  Another document I love: Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address.  That one is hanging in my hallway.

These documents have laid the foundation of what our country has become.  I wonder what our founding fathers would think of what the world looks like today, if they would be lost here.

On another note, Christmas is soon to arrive!  The closer it gets to the birth of our Christ, the more I realize all of the things that I am so thankful for and blessed by.

Tomorrow starts my first Christmas.  Justin’s mom’s side is getting together to start off the festivities in the afternoon.  Sunday will be a lieu of events surrounding my grandma’s Christmas.  Monday will start my three day week and on Thursday we will head to Nebraska to see Justin’s dad’s side!

Saturday night will bring an exciting event for Justin’s grandpa Fred.  Polar Arena in North St. Paul is celebrating 40 years, and Fred was one of its founding fathers.  What a great time that will bring.

I want to end my post today I want to say two things.

1. I love Santa.

2. I love Coke Zero.

FTC Disclosure: The Coca-Cola Company did not provide me with any reimbursement for my mention of Coke Zero, except the satisfaction that it brings to my life.

Well I didn’t die.  Thank you Jesus!

I am amazed how much I took my arm for granted.  I will have full use of it soon, but it is so weird how great of a loss one surgery does to the muscles in your shoulder!  I just hope that after all of my therapy is done, the pain will all be gone too.

During my Vicodin filled days, I have been keeping my brain moving with Sudoku!  Unfortunately they are all difficult to read since I had to use my left hand.  I am practically ambidextrous now!

I have had so many people taking wonderful care of me!  I so greatly appreciate how much people helped me.

Also, many of you were worried about how well Justin would take care of me.  I was pleasantly surprised how amazing Justin was!  Despite teasing me about dying and having the abilities of a 5 year old, he has been so great.  I love him so much and am so blessed to have him.  I have had a great look towards our future during this time and have seen how great of a father he will be.